


How to be a Nerd in Hollywood

by Armera



Category: Original Work
Genre: Dresden Files References, F/M, Me being bored, Murder Mystery, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Fandoms Not Mentioned in Tags, au to our world, dresden files spoilers, lots of fandoms, movie studio, mythical dresden files movie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 10:59:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8709814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Armera/pseuds/Armera
Summary: L.A. is tough the kind of place. Alice Woodward has lived there for most of her life, and has by some miracle has a movie of the Dresden files book series in the works. When her studio asks her to get the rights to some random Manga, and the dead body of one of the Japanese businessmen pops up on the set of her movie. Alice's life is well, getting weirder.





	1. No Dead Body Yet

**Author's Note:**

> First work posted here, Hi everyone! Everything is in the works for here, I have no idea where this thing is going. Just enjoy the first chapter and hope it is not the last. Criticism is very welcome, help this poor wanna be author out. ~Armera

Part of me could not believe it still, I was sitting in a movie studio watching the dailies of the movie I was producing. Storm Front was doing well on location with an ice queen of a director making damn sure it was the best movie she and her crew could make. Here in L.A., I was fighting with stupid executives to keep important things in and the stupid stuff out.

 

“But zombies are cool,” Austin Skinner, a small wiry man whined at me. 

 

“I know that” I snapped, “but they don’t show up till later.”

 

“How much later,” my main contact with the studio, and the only sane man in the room a man by the name of Luke Burton asked. 

 

“Book 5, Dead Beat,” I said. 

 

“5 books in are you insane?” Skinner said.

 

“Y’all said you wanted a new marvel,” My respect for Kevin Feige doubled, this is worse than pulling teeth out of a chicken. 

 

“Could we do some foreshadowing?” the big boss asked a guy named, Cameron Hewitt. 

 

“That is why we are filming in the Field museum and the dailies mention it,” I said praying none of these guys actually read Dead Beat, the zombie T-rex would be hard to keep quiet. 

 

“I thought it was because ‘dinosaurs are cool’?” Burton said. That was how the director, Annette Faulkner, and I pitched it to him. 

 

I shrugged at him, “They are, but Ann and I wanted to do some foreshadowing too. The dinosaurs are just an awesome bonus.” 

 

After I said my piece, I leaned back in the red theater chair. My mind wandered to how would the magic look in the movie. Right now it kinda looked like Harry was sneezing on the bad guys and it looked stupid. 

 

Skinner shifted in his chair, “we need to talk about the female lead,” 

 

“ Which one?” Hewitt asked for me. What was this guy going to do with Murphy or Susan.

 

“ The girlfriend,” what did he want to do with Susan, “could we make her into a guy or something?” 

 

While I will admit it is an interesting idea, but the plot says no.

 

“Other than the fact that would give y’all brownie points with the SJWs it is a bad idea, she does have a kid with the main lead in the 13th book,” It was kinda automatic by now this was the 6th time I had to explain that to Skinner or his staff. I even had to tell the press that we were not changing Susan’s gender cause an idiot in Skinner’s office (I think it was Skinner himself) leaked to the press about the change. I had to announce a cast list a week before it was ready just to get the Mary Sue to shut up about it. I think he is trying to sabotage this movie. Just because it was a genre movie. I heard from other productions that he was trying to get them shut down. Not surprising he was one of the people who passed on Deadpool.

 

Skinner continued “I was reading the script.” I have learned that from his mouth those are terrifying words. “We don’t really have a true magical threat.” 

 

Burton just looked at Skinner as if he grew a second head, Hewitt just said, “ Have you been reading the same script as us or has one of your Oscar bait pet projects has the title Storm Front too?” 

 

Skinner ignored it “I think we should have something undeniably magical,”

 

“There is a talking skull, a love potion, evil curses, evil potions, a scorpion that grows with size, and a Wizard that, magic wise, could put Gandalf to same. “ I said wondering if I have to turn in my LOTR fan card for that statement.   
“We should still put in,” Skinner was interrupted by Hewitt “If you say Zombie one more time I swear to God I will defund that thing you will not stop talking about.”

 

I giggled a bit, maybe that would get through his thick skull.

 

Burton stated after I calmed down, “ I am worried about the MPAA. We could be dealing with an NC/17 movie here.”

 

“An easy way to do that is to cut down on the swearing, and most of Bob’s lines,” Hewitt suggested. 

 

“With Bob, I think we could, Ann and the scriptwriter of the week are already doing that,” I said which was the truth, they are recording the full lines too. They would be later put onto an unrated Dvd. 

 

“With the first two movies it is a definite but in the third, it is a plot point,” a white lie but it was the best line in the book I want that kept in the final film. 

 

“Gore wise the death scenes and the corpses we were thinking of suggesting it like what Psycho did back in the day,” Ann was already running into that problem, how much to show and how much to tell. 

 

“Ann needs something to describe the scenes,” Burton said.   
“This is a Noir movie why not a voice over,” Hewitt said.

 

“We are already on that bit, though Ann and I disagree on who is doing the voice over.”

 

“Well you two figure it out, I have a dinner meeting in an hour, I will see all of you in a week,” Hewitt then walked out after saying his piece. Skinner scurried after him without saying goodbye to Burton nor I. 

 

“The important thing is I think Hewitt likes how this is going,” Burton said tossing me a notebook that had the movie notes in it. Yay, homework read through the new stuff, shift through the bad stuff and give the rest to Ann. She is going to hate me. 

 

“ How can you tell?” I said throwing the notebook and my ‘I am so nervous I can’t see straight’ knitting project into my bag. 

 

“ He is coming back next week, he never does that to projects he does not believe in,” Burton explained as we walked out of the theater.   
“So none of Skinner’s pet projects,” I guessed, smiling.  
“ He never sees the dailies for any of his projects.”  
“Why does still have a job? I mean his pet projects have never won awards nor have they made money.”   
“He is good at making movies under budget.”  
“Well I have an appointment to make to, I will see you Friday for the skype chat with Ann,” I said walking towards the door for the parking lot. We both said bye and I bolted to my car. 

 

Fortunately, the meeting was close to the studio, in a fancy hotel nearby. And when I mean fancy I mean super fancy, 14 karat gold toilet paper fancy, and You have to use the valet fancy. The lobby itself was mostly white but that was because of the white marble floors and columns the holding up the glass ceiling. Tasteful decorations from various eras and nations littered the lobby along with potted plants that are better taken care of than my dog. 

 

I was so under dressed for this place. Blue jeans, a Star trek t-shirt, black denim jacket and an old school leather backpack with a pair of knitting needles sticking out the top. To top it off I had rich people glaring me down or watching me like some exotic animal. But my meeting was here at the restaurant inside the hotel. But the studio was paying me for this and paying for my dinner. 

I was seated and I ordered a coke, about gave the server a heart attack with that order. The restaurant was as dark as the lobby was light, making it hard to see. I took out my phone to google a couple things before the meeting.


	2. Here be Dead People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two dead bodies, only one is murdered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, note to all do not start something during Christmas. ~Armera

“Excuse me are you, Ms. Woodward,” a quiet voice took me out of my research spree. 

“Yes, that is me.” I stuttered “You can call me Alice though.”

There were two people I had to shake hands with, both were Japanese, one man and one woman. 

“I am Yashida Seiji” the man told me. 

Yashida turned to his college,” And this is Kaneshiro Ran.”

I said the required pleasantries.

“So Ms. Woodward what has you studio has told you about this meeting?”

“Not much. Just that you and your college are representatives for a manga company. There is a manga that you wish to sell to a studio,” I said and that was all the executive told me yesterday. 

“Not which Manga?” Kaneshiro asked, her voice was so quiet I could barely hear her over the noise of the restaurant. 

“His exact words were ‘it is a wildly popular manga and anime, but the name is so odd you would not believe me if I told you it’ then I was shooed out of the office and into a financial meeting.” 

“Is Fullmetal Alchemist, an unusual name in English?” Kaneshiro asked as their drinks were set down, hot tea for both of them, thank God. 

I was stunned by the simple statement, “I hate Skinner.”

Turning to the two executives I said, “I would love to make a Fullmetal Alchemist movie for you, I will even personally produce the movie myself.”

“Why not a Mr. Skinner,” I interrupted Yashida. “No, you don’t want Mr. Skinner close to your manga, he does not like fantasy films. He will destroy your movie, if you come to my studio please pick anyone other than Skinner to produce Fullmetal Alchemist.” I pleaded with them. 

“I think that was the easiest dinner meeting I have had, congratulations Ms. Woodward you have a new movie to produce,” Yashida said, motioning for the waiter. My mouth dropped as he ordered celebratory alcoholic beverages and steak. I politely declined the alcoholic beverages, “I am driving to Orange County after dinner, I do not want to tempt the cops.” I said. 

Three hours and lots of note taking later, I finally came back to the valet. I had a signed contract in my backpack, and more importantly, I texted Hewitt with the news that I will fax it as soon as I get home. The rest of my night consisted of driving, faxing the contract, and falling into the bed.

The next morning at way too early o’clock, I got a call. 

“Grhh,” I said into the phone. 

“Alice, where were you last night?” It was Ann.

“Having dinner with a pair of Japanese business people negotiating a contract, why?”

“We are moving to film in the studio today remember?” Ann said as my dog, Strider, nudged me to be let outside. I sighed and got out of the bed, answering, “yes I remember you guys are taking two days off from filming ‘cause of the move, or are you filming that side project?” 

“We are actually taking three days off, Noah’s mother died last night.”

“Let me guess the extra day is for him to go to the funeral,” I said starting up the coffee. Noah Davis plays Harry, and I found out that his mom befriended the entire cast and crew with various baked goods. She even sent me a basket full of various sweet things, as thanks for hiring her son. 

“Are you going to the funeral? And where is it being held?”

“Somewhere in Indiana, and yes I am, we will be in L.A. sometime tomorrow,” Ann said her voice oddly watery. 

“But,” she continued “most of the crew will be there on time today to dress the set, and get ready to film, Noah, the main cast and I will be late. We will be filming by Wednesday at the latest.”

“Good we are not losing much shooting time, I will send Noah my condolences later today,” I said letting the dog back in. 

“I heard that you watched the dailies with Austin Skinner yesterday is he still on the Zombie kick?”

“Ann my dear you have no idea…” The rest of the conversation was shop talk. We wished each other a good day and I got to work on the computer. I sent both flowers to the funeral home and a gift basket to Noah, for him to receive when he gets back to L.A. I found out that the production designer and a small team were already in L.A. set dressing.

I continued to work until about 2 in the afternoon, that is when I packed up my dog, A 50 pound Shepard something mix, and went to the studio. There were some papers I needed to pick up and Hewitt’s secretary wanted to see my dog. 

The drive to the Studio was quick, for L.A. a little under two hours. The only weird bit was that my phone was buzzing throughout the ride.I am not picking it up on the 405. I drove up to the guard shack where they lift up the bar to let your car in the backlot. 

“Hey, Jamie how is your wife?” I asked the security guard closest to me.

“Miss Woodward, Speak of the devil you are wanted at Stage 12, the production crew just called to ask for you,”Jamie’s partner, whose name I could not remember, said. I nodded and smiled, and drove off. 

Stage 12 was smaller than most of the sound stages on the lot, used mostly for small apartments and offices in movies. I think the sets for Harry’s apartment and the police department were built in the sound stage. I stepped out of the car and let the dog out. The production designer was waiting for me.

“I was calling you,” he snapped.  
“405, I am not getting myself killed because you are freaking out. Which does beg the question why are you freaking out?” I cooly said while Strider sniffed the man’s pant leg.

The production designer, I am horrible with names, motioned me to follow him. Inside the Stage it was pure chaos, boxes were torn and thrown around, the walls that blocked out where the apartment and offices were laying on their sides and had holes in them and the few costumes that were rented were ripped to shreds.

“I have only been in the business for few years but I am pretty sure it is not supposed to look like this,” I said walking over what I think was a police uniform. Strider kept glancing up into the rafters, as I let him off the leash. 

“This looks sabotage to me. Woodward, why is the question?” production designer growled at me.  
As I started to answer, something dropped behind me. I noticed three things in the span of three seconds. First, Strider was barking his head off. Second, the production designer’s crew either shouted, yelled or screamed. Lastly, the production designer’s face drained of all his blood. I turned around to find Kaneshiro Ran’s bloody, open, organless, hanging, body in front of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love a good mystery, Let the games begin :)

**Author's Note:**

> Not every chapter will get two sets of notes. Just a gentle reminder to please read and critique. I would love to see what everyone thinks of this. ~Armera


End file.
